the best thing about taking exams in college is that once you’re done you can leave right away to go cry
parents: i want the truth
me: *tells truth*
parents: nope youre lying wrong answer
i hate crying in front of people so if i have ever cried in front of you, yes it does kinda mean you’re important but mostly it means it was a terrible accident that i will regret forever
what exactly does sending a dick pic achieve??? like Wow thanks for the penis im gonna print this off and shove it up my ass
when you know something doesnt fit in the fridge but you force the door shut and let it fall out on someone else
I want one of those marriages where they’ve been married 20 years but are still crazy in love and still cuddle on the couch and kiss a lot. I want those kind of marriages that make my kids nauseous because how in love their parents are.